I wrote this note for my team (Media Labs) at The Whole Truth (TWT). It's based on notes I took across 20+ quarterly chats I did a couple months ago (with my direct reports and skips), focused on how to set them up for growth. There were a few things I found myself repeatedly saying across those chats, so I put them together. Sharing here too, hoping it might be useful beyond the team.
1) Creative trust and showing your rough work
You have to become comfortable showing shitty first drafts. They are drafts for a reason.
We will always make space for it. As I have repeatedly said: at TWT, there is no fear of feedback or failure. This is the North Star of our culture. Because great creative work almost always emerges from iteration.
2) You deserve clarity on the "why"
If you haven't understood why something is being done, ask. You deserve clarity. And context. Sometimes, it's simply a matter of a lot going on, and your leaders may skip sharing. But if you ask for it, we will share. Ask freely.
3) Know what you're growing towards
Some of you know what you want to do and where you want to steer your career. Some of you don't. And both are completely okay. This is very normal.
If you know, it may not be the case that what you are doing today maps exactly to that. But there are always sub-skills that lead to that path. Have a picture of that. It helps to know how what you are doing today can take you there.
Yes, there are moments where you step back and think "why I am doing what I am doing" (and that's important) but if you do this judgement every morning, then it's likely you will fall into paralysis.
So… the single most important thing to grow and do great work? Just do what you are doing exceptionally well. We often underestimate how much we grow simply by showing up every day with care and attention. And that takes you somewhere you can't anticipate. Trust that it will.
4) "Nice" is not necessarily "kind"
There is a difference between niceness and kindness. Nice people often avoid conflict. They seem good to be around, but sometimes, at the root of it, nice people avoid hard conversations because they feel uncomfortable. And that's a trap. We all need to learn to have hard conversations.
Kindness is different (and that's something I'd nudge you all to default to). Have the hard chat, but show up in that chat with kindness. And that's often how you treat the other person. Where you separate the person from the work. And don't make the output of the work a moral verdict on their personhood. There is a big, big difference.
Always remember: clarity is kindness, even though clarity is not always comforting. That's a principle I follow.
5) Know what's in your control
There is so much in an org of our scale that will be outside your control. (Even for me.) For high-agency people, this can feel frustrating: you can see—and genuinely believe—that something needs to change, so obvious, and yet it doesn't…
So what can you do? Well, if you look, you will find a lot that is in your control. Map that out. And do those things really well. Double down on that.
For what's not in your control and if you are concerned: voice them out. Make it known. And then trust the person in charge to take it forward. It's not always the most satisfying resolution, but doing this allows you to then get back to your work with full focus.
And also, do remember: sometimes, it's also a matter of preference/judgement. You think X is the way, other person feel Y is the way. You should learn to say: I disagree, but if we are doing this, I will do it whole heartedly. Because I bat for the team.
6) When the gaze affects you
What to do when you are constantly second-guessing what other people think of you?
Whenever you're anxious about perception, show up and do your absolute best in the situation you are in. Just do things. You'd be surprised how well this works. It's futile to try and alter someone's perception of you. (This problem won't go away. It will only grow as your scope of work increases. :D)
7) Make asks. But don't feel entitled.
Whatever your ambition is, your leaders should know. Make asks. That's your job. It really helps to know where you are at, what you are thinking, and depending on how things are going, if managers can make space for the kind of things you want to do.
The key point for this to work is: don't feel entitled (italicised for emphasis) that your ask will be fulfilled. Your manager's job is to offer you clarity: what is possible, what is not, and what they simply don't know, what they are figuring out.
This is really just like any other adult conversation. Once you know, if you realise what you want isn't going to happen here, and you feel undervalued, or you genuinely believe you'll be more valued elsewhere, it's information for you. But before making conclusions, have the adult conversation.
The problem happens when people quietly carry resentment because their expectations aren't met and never communicate them. Or when managers start gaslighting people for asking or avoiding those conversations.
Ofc, this is easier said than done. And these are hard conversations for everyone—including managers. But if we learn to do them well, it serves everyone.
8) Document what growth means for you
I am a big believer in reflections as a source of tracking growth.
Write down what you want. What you can't do today and want to in months to come. This will be a mix of hard and soft skills, visible and invisible things. This could be three points or three pages. Depends on you and where your mind is at. Whatever it is, a quarterly/half-yearly snapshot helps. Write it, then leave it, then return to it months later, and then see what changed.
Doing this is your best hedge against falling for recency bias. We are so focused on the day to day, that we often forget to look back where you come from. It reveals things to yourself that the world can't see. I'd encourage you to put this down and track for yourself.
9) Setting boundaries
You don't like person X. Or their way of working. But you can't control what they do. They may not even be open for feedback. Or perhaps they don't change their ways of working even if they take your feedback.
But you have to work with them. So what to do?
Sure, you can start with judging and ranting with your bestie in DM. If the release helps, so be it ;) ).
And then show up as a professional. Set boundaries. Make your ask clear: ask for what you need to get your work done. That is your right. Focus the conversation on specific things you need, rather than making it a verdict on the person. Then if you are not getting those things, tell your manager. This is how you get the work done—and you don't have to like the person for that.
One tip: if they gaslight you, or make you feel stupid about asking, know that it often comes from a place of their own insecurity.
10) So much just gets solved with good communication
If something is not happening because of whatever reason, proactively communicate it. Let other people know before failure hits. This is professionalism. (And if you are in a workplace where this is discouraged, where informing is seen as a sign of failure, you are in the wrong place. TWT is not that place, and if we ever go in that direction, be the guardian and don't let it happen.)
One anchor I use for good communication: people who work with me should share my reality of what's going on. If we are operating in different realities, bad friction is guaranteed. And communication solves it.
11) Learn to commit to deadlines.
In chats, I saw some being hesitant with deadlines. And I understand. We may not always know if X will be done by Y date. And I get it. But nothing gets done without it.
And if you miss one, use this as information to diagnose why: were you inefficient, did you waste time, or did you underestimate what it takes?
Getting better at estimating deadlines is also growth.
12) On progress
Two things can be simultaneously true:
— Things have become better
— There is still a lot that can be better.
We focus so much more on the latter, so perspective on what has changed and what has become better can help.
Where reasonable people can disagree: pace of this change. There is no objective answer to this. If you feel it's slow, it's understandable. It's a discussion and then we play our part in helping get there.
13) Consistency
There are moments where you shine and everyone applauds. Great. Cherish it.
But what matters is consistency. Are you consistently able to ship that kind of great work? Make that your anchor.
And which is why arrogance — "I made X, so I am great, I can make anything now!" after one hit is exactly what you don't need: the recipe for great work has humility and craft as base ingredients. The dish will taste off if you forget those.
14) Don't stay inside your head
Don't mistake whatever version of reality is running in your head—what X thinks of you, constructing a story of what will happen etc—as the ultimate reality.
Because there is a difference between observation and inference. So treat your version of reality as one from a set of possibilities. And then test it in the real world.
Sometimes you are running a version which is so off, and can be recalibrated by talking. And sometimes you have to act to know. Just go find out. When you create stories without collecting evidence, that becomes a problem.
15) Looking inwards. Not blaming outwards.
When you face problems at work, the first tendency is to blame someone else (natural!). But growth is then also looking inwards: could I have done something differently here to make things better?
One of my favourite stories in these chats was one of you saying: "Okay, let me go and have the chat with the brief giver. To ensure clarity, I will give the benefit of doubt and ask. But if they cross a line, I am going to tell them this is not okay!"
Which brings me to the point of inner growth: we often think of growth as growth in output and skills and the kind of work we are making. But a big, big part of growth is inner growth. Which then shapes everything. I wrote it from a manager's perspective in this LinkedIn post.
